Since the last summer, my friends took me to an exhibition and some other art book event, i really enjoying the art photos and looking for something new to me.
then i found IMA magazine and found they’re opening contest every month with different theme for each time.
I found a theme “Self-Portrait”, but the deadline was only 5 days remained!
my brain talked like “i don’t have much time right now, so maybe next time”, “yeah but gotta try it’s because I like that theme”. and yes, this and that were on my head then I decided, okay, let’s give a try.
and it was first time to me to apply photo contest in my life.
i used mind map app on my computer to dig myself deeply to scrape words from myself, put them together to make a concept in my way.
i am handicap guy. it’s not very serious but i have, since i was born.
i don’t have index finger and middle finger on my left hand and have no big toe on my right foot with a few small things on my body but you can’t see what’s the difference.
anyway, there is a one thing i don’t like when i got shot for photo it is my fingers.
i don’t care but when people look at it, when they noticed it, they react like suddenly they’re into heavy feeling.
sometimes people stop smiling when they are looking at photo when they noticed it.
that’s what i don’t like about to be shot.
oh wait, is it all on my mind? or just am i thinking too much?
this is one of parts in the concept.
also, nowadays, for the contest, you have to send your photo via internet. you don’t have to print it and ship it, just send it via internet with some words of statement.
i imagined, to show my self-portrait to some people i don’t know, how does it feels like?
to see someone’s photo on screen as digital image is like hiding yourself as anonymous is very creepy thing. it is like hiding yourself with peeping someone.
at the same time showing yourself for the people hiding themself like you put a blind fold on yourself with showing off yourself.
what a weird but this is what we are doing in real life, online.
imagine, you put blindfold on yourself, by yourself and go into a room with full of people, you will never know who they really are, they will never know who you really are. this is what we live in.
what i am worrying about it’s just only on my mind.
or…. maybe they care about it but maybe not really care.
and maybe this is just on my mind? or is this real?
to show myself so im in the portrait but i don’t want to you see who i am.
from my side, i can’t see you and i don’t to know who you are.
to protect myself from people i don’t know so i hide my eyes.
so, you are anonymous to me and i am anonymous to you.
this is what i thought about “self-portrait.”
i am very satisfied with my concept and statement but i was dropped from the contest. lol
it is very funny feeling to me because it’s first time to me to try such a thing.
anyway, if there is something interesting contest or something “challenge” to me, i will try.
title: I, the “me” you see.